Oct 17 - 46/45 - McCain +01
I've Solved Everything
Tuesday night I was at a bar (Copper's), where a bunch of people were cheering on the 3-2 D-Backs 9th inning lead over the Dodgers, in Los Angeles. Since I moved to Arizona I have been trying to support all the local teams, but cheering for the D-Backs is the hardest. There uniforms are terrible, they players are dumb, and they have already won a championship (unfair to any Cleveland person). Anyways, I was trying to support them, so I was cheering along with the others. Then, with 2 outs to go, the television showed the Dodgers luxury box where Larry David and Tom Hanks were sitting together. I immediately wanted the Dodgers to win.
Okay, so that brings me to my point. I was reading this Washington Monthly article about how the Democrats need a new approach to picking a presidential candidate. There were a bunch of unique people listed, including Tom Hanks. This needs to happen. Is there anyone that wouldn't vote for Hanks? And now its confirmed he is on the right side of the issues, since he is friends with a strong liberal like Larry David. I repeat, this needs to happen. EVERYONE would vote for him.
And the reason he is a lock to win, is that Americans don't really pay attention. So people would think he was a WWII Veteran (Saving Private Ryan), although those loser Swift Boat guys would be back again. He appeals to middle America (The Burbs). However, since apparently god hates fags, he could be doomed from his role in Philadelphia. Although, one thing is for sure, he would pull a lot of votes in the Montrose Best Buy neighborhood for his starring role in The Money Pit.
Okay, so that brings me to my point. I was reading this Washington Monthly article about how the Democrats need a new approach to picking a presidential candidate. There were a bunch of unique people listed, including Tom Hanks. This needs to happen. Is there anyone that wouldn't vote for Hanks? And now its confirmed he is on the right side of the issues, since he is friends with a strong liberal like Larry David. I repeat, this needs to happen. EVERYONE would vote for him.
And the reason he is a lock to win, is that Americans don't really pay attention. So people would think he was a WWII Veteran (Saving Private Ryan), although those loser Swift Boat guys would be back again. He appeals to middle America (The Burbs). However, since apparently god hates fags, he could be doomed from his role in Philadelphia. Although, one thing is for sure, he would pull a lot of votes in the Montrose Best Buy neighborhood for his starring role in The Money Pit.
By Chuck - 4/28/2005
10 Comments:
Hanks is good, but is Martin Sheen a Democrat? I remember some bumper stickers saying "Bartlett for President" in the 2000 election. West Wing is a really good show. I think Sheen could be a good backup for Hanks.
Sheen is fine. But Hanks is the best we can do. Oprah would be great, but there are still too many racists in the this country. She would win, but she's not the lock that Hanks is.
by the way, these ideas are not original, so I shouldnt say "I've" solved everything. Either way, i am not changing the title, makes me feel smarter.
nice post Chuck...it is funny and feasible.
what about the Shawshank guy though (tim robbins?)?
speaking of Shawshank, I think Morgan Freeman has a better chance than Oprah of being the first black prez.
Robbins is far too vocally left wing - the right would swarm him him and grind him to a pulp. But Oprah? You bad mouth Oprah and the soccer moms in this country will make it their personal mission to crush you...her following is freakishly loyal and much larger than we'd all like to think (not to slight her too much - she's done a lot of amazing charity work).
micheal moore has been saying we should run oprah for years
tim
robbins is great, but agreed he is too vocal. also, agreed, freeman great, but oprah would dominate.
the thing with oprah, is that i would be scared that she would just have random days where everyone in the country gets a new car. that might be a bit too much of a strain on the economy. unless she pays for it, which is possible.
yeah, i heard the oprah thing from moore. sounds good. but Hanks seems unstoppable. i think moore might have said hanks, too.
i'd like to cast my vote for quote of the week for chuck's "...I would be scared that she would just have random days where everyone in the country get's a new car" Oprah response. that's just damn funny.
Oprah is a fake. My vote is for Hanks.
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