Oct 17 - 46/45 - McCain +01
The Sky is the thing above the Bar
Many of you were just home for Thanksgiving and many of you will be back soon come Christmas.
If you find yourself sinking into your parents' couch one December afternoon, head on down/up to the basement/attic and dust off those boxes of childhood memorabilia. See if you can't find any writing assignments from your youth, especially those of the "when I grow up" variety. Then compare yours to the response below. Pasted below is a not-so-uncommon response by an area 6th grader that my girlfriend teaches, when asked where she saw herself in 5, 10, and 20 years:
"In five years I think I will have a job at a fast food place because on your break you can eat whatever they serve there…In ten years I hope to be in college so I can be a cosmetologist. So that I can pay for the house and go to the mall a lot. My boyfriend can pay the gas, cable, internet and the rest of the payments that I won’t pay for because that won’t be my job…In twenty years I will be thirty-one years old…31 is the age that turns you into a old lady. Because most people that age start to drink a lot more because, they realize that their life is a waste of time…When I’m 31 I will be out of college and into some kind of job that I’ll probably hate to death so very much."
Ahh...there's nothing quite as sweet as the idealism of our youth.
If you find yourself sinking into your parents' couch one December afternoon, head on down/up to the basement/attic and dust off those boxes of childhood memorabilia. See if you can't find any writing assignments from your youth, especially those of the "when I grow up" variety. Then compare yours to the response below. Pasted below is a not-so-uncommon response by an area 6th grader that my girlfriend teaches, when asked where she saw herself in 5, 10, and 20 years:
"In five years I think I will have a job at a fast food place because on your break you can eat whatever they serve there…In ten years I hope to be in college so I can be a cosmetologist. So that I can pay for the house and go to the mall a lot. My boyfriend can pay the gas, cable, internet and the rest of the payments that I won’t pay for because that won’t be my job…In twenty years I will be thirty-one years old…31 is the age that turns you into a old lady. Because most people that age start to drink a lot more because, they realize that their life is a waste of time…When I’m 31 I will be out of college and into some kind of job that I’ll probably hate to death so very much."Ahh...there's nothing quite as sweet as the idealism of our youth.
By Robert - 11/28/2005
7 Comments:
What stood out to me are gender roles the kid touches on. "My boyfriend can pay the gas, cable, internet and the rest of the payments because that won't be my job..."
Why doesn't that little girl aspire to be the money maker? Play that Kanye.
Off on a tangent: I've noticed a change in the gender roles as I've grown older. In college it was pretty equal because we all were in school aspiring to be professionals. Women were really ambitious. I see a lot of ladies kind of throwing in the towel, giving up their dreams, getting married, and taking a back seat to their man. I find that interesting that all that ambition and spirit of independence seems to putter out. Some women seem to replace their career goals with marriage goals. That is a lot of pressure on a relationship. Maybe that is why so many marriages fail.
I have also found it interesting that after college many women my age seem to be more and more interested in finding a provider. As I talk to girls I know about the guys they're dating, I notice their descriptions are always about what he does / what he can catch. It is like we live in caves and some women view themselves as helpless to fend for themselves.
You know I have to comment on this issue. It's funny because I was just saying to my HUSBAND that for centuries women were expected to marry and give birth as soon as they became a "woman"; childhood ended in the teens. I'm sure that most of these women wanted more for themselves other than this mother role. And slowly women made it happen. Yet something happens in the twenties now with the "wedding trance". Perhaps it's our clock or our lack of career satisfaction. This build up of a wedding leaves less time for planning for a marriage. I know I would have been happy without the hoopla, but unfortunately Brad's brother eloped and my mom is Italian with 7 siblings which equals a lot of people.
Anyway, I don't think this letter is the norm although very funny and heartbreaking. In fact, she should know that her husband may ride his bike to work and not buy gas, that he may cancel cable, and that he might pay for internet but only because he like EBAY! Not that I would know.
Leslie
Leslie, I completely agree with your point about planning for the wedding vs. planning for the marriage. That is something that I see and fear.
You and Brad did it right though because you dated for quite sometime, lived together, and then got married. Plus, I had a lot of fun at your hoopla.
While this letter is terribly sad, I have to say that women have not thrown in the towel to get married. THERE ARE NO JOBS! I've been looking for over a year, and the best job I found was worse than the one before. It is very difficult to maintain your ambition and college-age idealism when you face constant rejection in your job search. There is still a lot of pressure to get married, buy a house, and start your family. I think most women would really love to be satisfied with a rewarding career, but unfortunately, with this economy, it's just not that possible. Here's an experiment for those who disagree... search any of the job engines for a good job that will pay the bills. Try to find something that fits your life goals, pays enough, and is in the same city as your spouse's job. (If you find one in Akron, please post it!)
Before my wedding, my mom read my "life goal" letter. All it talked about was me being able to provide for myself and my family. No mention of my husband's income. I think that's a good goal. Unfortunately, our job market doesn't provide the opportunities educated women are looking for. It is very frustrating to not be able to provide for yourself, and to not feel like you're achieving your goals. Perhaps rather than women viewing themselves as helpless, we are relying on our partners for support while we struggle with our own perceived failure.
Anonymous, you are aware that this is an american, and not a European blog site, right??
America is enjoying an unemployment rate between 5 and 6 percent, which is about as low is it ever gets.
It could be that your local economy creates an environment where employment is tough, but don't blame the US economy (which, by the way is doing very well, posting a 4.3% increase in GDP during the third quarter).
You mention that you can't find a job that fits your "life goals." Could it be these goals that are hampering your employment, rather than the US economy?
I would like to respond to Jeff in defense of Anonymous.
I decided to do my own research at the Census Bureau. I found that these were the median incomes for men and women in AMERICA:
Head of Family/No Spouse –
Female 29,826 Male- 44,923
Non-family Single Income –
Female 21,797 Male 31,967
Also, the poverty rate has continued to rise since 2000. Hmmm...who could be the reason for that?
Unemployment may be low, but what kinds of jobs are people getting? Could you support a family on 29,000?
One more thing, I could never put down someones life goals. I wouldn't feel right being employed as a teacher if I did.
Anonymous, keep trying. I don't know anyone right now who is COMPLETELY happy with their job.
Leslie, excellent points. How can anyone say that the economy is good right now? I do not see it.
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