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The View from Abroad
 As you all know by now, I live in a youth hostel in Sao Paulo. One of my good buddies these days is a French/Swiss photographer named Pierre-Yves Massot. He's only in his mid-20's and just won the prestigious SWISS PRESS PHOTO OF THE YEAR 2004.Here is a taste of his work. On his web site he has a project called 'Against!' (see above) It is photos taken at Iraq War protests in various parts of Europe.  If Iraq has you down there are 14 other projects to view. One of which is shots of the streets of St-Petersburg (left) and one of which is 10 pictures from the "International Erotic Fair!"(below)CLICK HERE to add some culture to your week (or look at semi-erotic pictures).
[Click 'Projects' and then 'Pierre-Yves Massot.' Just one more click and each slide show starts.]  As a bonus, he's taken some pictures of our hostel (which you might get a kick out of if you've ever wondered what hostel-life looks like). Turn on your speakers and keep an eye out for the guy in the yellow Akron U. T-shirt. (then click the throbbing sun).
A Lot of Nerve
Bill Frist said the nuclear option "was a name created by his opponents." That's a lie. They created it, then when it was polling well, they started calling it the Constitutional option.
Republicans Please Answer:
Was it acceptable to filibuster Abe Fortis, let alone constitutional?
Tom Delay in 1997:
"The judges need to be intimidated. If they don't behave, we're going to go after them in a big way." His lunatic comments seem to be bordering on criminal. President Bush doesn't think so, because he decided to spend a whole day last week hanging out with this loser. But Bush is friends with Ken Lay, so being around a loser/criminal is nothing new to W.
The First Casualty
 Here is my take on the NCTC's (National Counter Terrorism Center's) recent findings. Tuesday the top story at Reuters was: World Terror Attacks Tripled in 2004 by U.S. Count (enjoy)
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. count of major world terrorist attacks more than tripled in 2004, a rise that may revive debate on whether the Bush administration is winning the war on terrorism, congressional aides said on Tuesday. The number of "significant" international terrorist attacks rose to about 650 last year from about 175 in 2003, according to congressional aides briefed on the numbers by State Department and intelligence officials on Monday.
I love that: "may revive." MAYBE the fact that our own State Department and Intelligence Community is announcing that terrorist attacks have TRIPLED will get people talking. Probably not. But maybe. Maybe they won't even see the news. Today at the CNN International homepage there is NO mention of the story. Well, there's a lot of other news to report you say?...Tom Cruise's new romance made the homepage!!! Am I in the F*ing Twighlight zone? I am pinching myself...but I'm not waking up.The aides were told the surge partly reflected an increased tally of violence in India and Pakistan related to the Himalayan region of Kashmir, which both countries claim, and the devotion of moremanpower to the U.S. monitoring effort, which resulted in more attacks being counted overall. Fair enough. I can accept that. Maybe the count is thrown off by Kashmir. (Infact, I image in that even in a perfectly executed War on Terrorism things might need to get worse before they get better). I love the way they're spinning this though...Terrorists aren't attacking more, we're being more thorough. Classic! Anyhow, this is not the part that gets me...pay attention, here it comes... The State Department last year initially released erroneous figures that understated the attacks and casualties in 2003 and used the figures to argue that the Bush administration was prevailing in the war on terrorism. It later said the number of people killed and injured in 2003 was more than double its original count and said "significant" terrorist attacks -- those that kill or seriously injure someone, cause more than $10,000 in damage or attempt to do either of those things -- rose to a 20-year high of 175. COME AGAIN?!?...I LOVE IT...they report the White House lying like they report the weather. "In other news, remember when Bush & Co. threw out all those fun stats about the effectiveness of the War on Terror?..They were lying. In other news..." The State Department last week unleashed a new debate about the numbers by saying it would no longer release them in its annual terrorism report... Well, I don't know about you, but I feel safer.Then today the title at the CNN 'U.S.' page was: Terror threat to U.S. called 'significant' You think?! I mean, all of you people out there who thought that the threat was totally 'insignificant' must be really embarrassed today. "Pay up Earl, I told you that that terror stuff was significant." The article goes on to say... The State Department last week drew criticism from Democrats when Secretary Condoleezza Rice decided not to have her department release the statistics -- which had previously been part of the report -- and to allow intelligence officials to decide about their release. As late as Monday, Director of National Intelligence John Negroponte had not decided whether to release the data... Please don't get me wrong. The worst part of this is NOT the increase of reported terrorist attacks. I don't care if they quintupled, honestly...the Republicans already have 101 decent reasons why the stats aren't representative (and America only needs one to change the channel) predictably the Democrats are gonna drag the wrong bad news into the spotlight AGAIN.
If it is MY newspaper the headline isnt:
'Terror threat to U.S. called 'significant' or even:
'World Terror Attacks Tripled in 2004 by U.S. Count'
It's: EXTRA! EXTRA! NCTC First Casualty in U.S.-led War on Information.
I've Solved Everything
Tuesday night I was at a bar (Copper's), where a bunch of people were cheering on the 3-2 D-Backs 9th inning lead over the Dodgers, in Los Angeles. Since I moved to Arizona I have been trying to support all the local teams, but cheering for the D-Backs is the hardest. There uniforms are terrible, they players are dumb, and they have already won a championship (unfair to any Cleveland person). Anyways, I was trying to support them, so I was cheering along with the others. Then, with 2 outs to go, the television showed the Dodgers luxury box where Larry David and Tom Hanks were sitting together. I immediately wanted the Dodgers to win.
Okay, so that brings me to my point. I was reading this Washington Monthly article about how the Democrats need a new approach to picking a presidential candidate. There were a bunch of unique people listed, including Tom Hanks. This needs to happen. Is there anyone that wouldn't vote for Hanks? And now its confirmed he is on the right side of the issues, since he is friends with a strong liberal like Larry David. I repeat, this needs to happen. EVERYONE would vote for him.
And the reason he is a lock to win, is that Americans don't really pay attention. So people would think he was a WWII Veteran (Saving Private Ryan), although those loser Swift Boat guys would be back again. He appeals to middle America (The Burbs). However, since apparently god hates fags, he could be doomed from his role in Philadelphia. Although, one thing is for sure, he would pull a lot of votes in the Montrose Best Buy neighborhood for his starring role in The Money Pit.
First Question: Yes, Mr. Gannon....
Paging all gay prostitute fake journalists, Bush is holding a press conference. Expect a lot of lies and BS. However, he will unveil a plan for a $4000 tax credit for buying a hybrid car. This is a great thing, and was a policy under the Clinton administration. I hope Bush follows through with this promise....but I'll believe it when I see it. Now, how about getting rid of the tax credit for Hummers.
Its tonight at 5:30pm PT. I'll be busy watching the Celtics, also starting at 5:30pm.
Are you having trouble getting your General Motor up? Noticing a decrease in oil production? When you're the leader of the free world, you want to take your time and wait until the moment is right.
Introducing 36 hour Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah, the only economic dysfunction tablet that has been proven not only to work fast, but last up to 36 hours. Side effects may include lower oil prices, compromised human rights principals, greater dependence on foreign oil, and more wars. That's ok, because when a relaxing moment turns in to the right moment to get your approval rating up, you can be ready.
Syria, Paris, and my inability to think of a title
There were a bunch of conservatives making wild claims about lack of Iraq's WMDs. The biggest right-wing claim was that the WMDs existed, but were smuggled into Syria. Well, that myth has been finally been rejected. In a new report, US inspectors found the Syria theory was wrong. No WMD in Iraq or any hidden in Iraq. Just more confirmation that Iraq posed absolutely no serious threat to the US.
 Here is a new label for Bush's tax cuts for the rich.....Paris Hilton's Tax Cuts. That should make everyone cringe. Seriously, why does she need a tax cut?
Ralph Nader is pushing LeBron James to push for child marketing curbs in his deals with Coke, McDonalds, and Nike. The inactivity on this topic by Michael Jordan is a tragedy. Hopefully, LeBron doesn't make the same mistake.
Bush has spent over $2 million on promoting his "plan" on Social Security. 1) The spending is barely legal, if not illegal 2) "Plan" is in quotes because he has actually not introduced a plan. 3) What a waste of money....his non-plan has no chance of succeeding.
James Dobson is founder of the Family Research Council, who held the stupid "Jesus hates the filibuster" event. He is nuts. Regarding abortion, he has said the Supreme Court is responsible for "the biggest holocaust in world history." Regarding Catholics, he isn't sure if anti-catholic bigotry is wrong. Also, he has compared the Supreme Court (the one that appointed Bush) to the KKK. Like I said, he's nuts.
"Christians" Speak Out
"Let's be clear, a minority of liberal senators is kowtowing to the demands of leftwing interest groups. These groups and their causes -- abortion on demand, rampant obscenity, same-sex "marriage" -- lack popular support and require a politicized judiciary to impose their agenda. They fear votes and they fear the American people acting through their elected officials. They want judges who are under their heel, not under the Constitution." - Tony Perkins, President, Family Research Council
I like how Tony Perkins uses quotation marks around "marriage" in his statement to be condescending. Here is my attempt at his technique: Gay people really anger some "Christians" in this country.
Justice Sunday was yesterday. It was a televised event run by the Family Research Council that reached 61 million Americans. (see commercial here) The point was to bring attention to 10 federal court nominees who have not been confirmed. It also presented an opportunity to bring more attention to the culture of life social agenda. These type of events aren't that rare as politicians and preachers become harder to tell apart. What is rare is for the Senate Majority Leader to participate in this kind of event. Senator Bill Frist, M.D. (R-TN) sent a video taped message to the event to be played for the crowd. It has been a public relations disaster for Frist as he tries to distance himself from the event.
 As you can see, this kid is holding a gavel to represent being a judge and a bible to show his faith. "He should not have to choose." YES HE SHOULD HAVE TO CHOOSE AND OUR FOUNDING FATHERS WENT OUT OF THERE WAY TO MAKE THAT POINT. "that all men shall be free to profess, and by argument to maintain, their opinions in matters of religion, and that the same shall in nowise diminish, enlarge, or affect their civil capacities." - THOMAS JEFFERSON.
When you become a judge, faith may guide your life, but the constitution should guide your work in a country that prides itself on freedom of religion.
I'm happy to see the "Christian" fundamentalists out and about.
Schiavo. John Bolton. Social Security.
How are the President's polling numbers doing?
44% approve.
Selling Plasma Hurts
Under Clinton, poverty fell by 25.2 percent. Under Bush, poverty has risen by 10 percent.
Under Clinton, the unemployment rate was 4.0 percent. Under Bush it is 5.2 percent
Under Clinton, 22.7 million new jobs were created. Under Bush, there are about 200,000 new jobs.
Under Clinton, we had the country's largest surplus. Under Bush we have the country's largest deficit.
Under Clinton, the stock market went up. Under Bush, it's done nothing good.
Under Clinton, I didn't have to consider plasma donation to buy gas. Under Bush, I have looked up the info on the internet. We heard a lot about these stats during the election, except for my plasma considerations. Then Bush won, and these stats are hardly mentioned. Well, they are still a real problem, and they are still easy to understand....the Bush economy sucks. Lets not forget about it and let these clowns trick us into there nonsense anymore. We don't have to accept an economy where the cost of everything goes up, except our paychecks. We must hold these guys to accountable. So the next time you are disgusted about your credit card bill, don't solely blame yourself for your frivilous purchase of the newest, coolest tight shirt at Express....spread the blame.....blame the crappy economy. It makes it easier to sleep, and it's the reality of the crappy Bush economy.
BONUS STAT: Under Clinton, abortions fell by 27 percent. Under Bush, abortion is on the rise.
Sunday School
 Republicans claim to be very religious. Bush talks to Jesus. Evidently, he even believes he has the power to bless, and perhaps heal, children (reference the picture). I always like to point out that these Republicans are not religious, they simply manipulate religion by picking and choosing what religious doctrine they want to follow.
Well, here is a perfect example of Bush's (and all republicans) religious hypocrisy. The Bible teaches that, "as they are able, Christians are to help persons who are in real need and to refrain from charging interest in such situations." Jesus demands giving to your fellow man, without charging interest. The Old Testament has a similar passage. Overall, the Bible is very clear that charging interest on a person in need is a sin.
 Yet, Bush signed the bankruptcy bill this week, which helps the sinning, wealthy credit card companies get even richer. And when some Democrats demanded a few restrictions on predatory lending, they were mocked by the Republicans. So credit card companies will continue to be able go into poor neighborhoods and charge interest rates of over 40%. This is a clear violation of the Bible, yet Bush and other Republicans support these anti-Bible credit card company tactics. This is the same Bible they claim such allegiance to. So remember, they are just hypocrites, and not at all religious.
No Kobe, Garnett, or Lebron....but there is Ricky
 I know the games started today, but none of my picks have been altered by today's games. And I really think this is the way it will play out. I do think Detroit could very likely beat Boston, and go on to win the title. Also, San Antonio could end up beating Denver and taking the West, but the Spurs are so boring I cannot support them
First Round
Eastern Conference: Miami over New Jersey (4-2); Washington over Chicago (4-3); Boston over Indiana (4-2); Detroit over Philadelphia (4-2)
Western Conference: Phoenix over Memphis (4-1); Dallas over Houston (4-3); Seattle over Sacramento (4-2); Denver over San Antonio (4-3)
Second Round
Eastern Conference: Miami over Washington (4-1); Boston over Detroit (4-3)
Western Conference: Phoenix over Dallas (4-1); Denver over Seattle (4-3)
 Conference Finals
East: Boston over Miami (4-2)
West: Phoenix over Denver (4-1)
Finals: Boston over Phoenix (4-3). I'll be in attendance for Game 7.
Coming Soon: Once I get a few more things in order, I will have a big announcement regarding my playoff coverage, 2006 Senate coverage, and other unique information.
Gotta know when to fold 'em
 Last night I played a game of Risk (or at least the Brazilian variant) from 4pm to 3am.
One thing you learn in this game is that you have a limited number of resources and you have to pick your fights wisely...Now, I am almost positive that they DO NOT have this board game lying around the Vatican.
So they picked a German Pope who is determined to rain on the Gay parade in Europe. Good luck, buddy.
Today at the BBC...is this story: 'New Pope condemns Spain gay bill'
First Belgium and the Netherlands slipped into sin by allowing boy-kisses. No big surprise. But now SPAIN!!! Isn't Spain one of the most devoutly Roman Catholic countries in the whole of Europe? How do you say 'Ouch' in Latin?
The head of the Vatican's Pontifical Council on the Family, Cardinal Alfonso Lopez Trujillo, denounced the legislation as "profoundly iniquitous." Hey Al, you speak 10 languages and the best you could come up with is "Iniquitous?!" (I'm assuming that means 'real bad.')
According to the article, the long-named Socialist Prime Minister of Spain: Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, "has made it clear that he intends to streamline divorce law and even to relax the conditions placed on abortion. "
Hey New Pope, you got 125 million, homo-phoblic Roman Catholics right here in Brazil.
Take your armies and transport them to South America where you still have a fighting chance. A retreat of that magnitude stings (I know, last night my armies spent 4-5 rounds completely isolated in Australasia) but you have to face the facts, dog.
[Bob pats New Pope gently on shoulder, hands him dice]
Press Release
 For Immediate Release
April 22, 2004
Press Contact:
Kutuchief@hotmail.com or
KeelerReport@aol.com
We are proud to announce a joint partnership between The Keeler Report and The Chief Source that will continue to rapidly expand our audience across the globe. Working with our friends at Alta Vista, we are pleased to announce that both websites will now offer exclusive language translating technology known as "Babel Fish." This technology will allow those who speak Chinese, German, Japanese, Korean, French, Italian, Portuguese, and Spanish to translate our sites with one click of the mouse. Simply remarkable!
We look forward to the inevitably more international readership we will gain which will ensue with this groundbreaking technological advance pays huge dividends. Look for both sites to offer more international coverage in the coming weeks and months as we strive to offer content suited for our changing demographics. The continued financial support of our readers makes this kind of technology possible. We thank you for reading and ask that you forward this email to anyone who has been interested in reading our sites, but has been unable due to language barriers. Thank you for reading. The usable icon is in the left hand column of our site.
This will solve the problem....
The Bush Administration has decided to stop publishing an annual report on international terrorism after the government's top terrorism center concluded that there were more terrorist attacks in 2004 than in any year since 1985. Now I feel safer.
Here are some of the highlights of a Seattle Times story:
"Instead of dealing with the facts and dealing with them in an intelligent fashion, they try to hide their facts from the American public," charged Larry Johnson, a former CIA analyst and State Department terrorism expert who first disclosed the decision to eliminate the report.
According to Johnson and U.S. intelligence officials, statistics that the National Counterterrorism Center provided to the State Department reported 625 "significant" terrorist attacks in 2004. That compared with 175 such incidents in 2003, the highest number in two decades.
Where is Eric Williams when you need him?
 The Cavs fired GM Jim Paxson, the day after the Cavs embarrassed the entire city of Cleveland by missing the playoffs. There is no question in my mind that Paxson is the worst GM in sports history after 6 years of complete failure. One other fact, that I should probably let go, but am not going to yet, is that so many people (you people know who you are) ridiculed me and claimed I was such an idiot for saying the Cavs sucked and Paxson didn't know what he was doing. I was right all along, and this collapse is complete confirmation of me being right and you being wrong (okay, I really am going to stop doing that from now on).
Otherwise, the NBA playoffs begin Saturday. If the regular season, which set the NBA's all-time attendance record, is any indication, the playoffs should be exciting. It even seems possible that my dream Finals matchup of Boston and Phoenix is possible. In the next several days, I will try to provide a first round preview (unless there is too much reader protest).
Kerry Back In The Spotlight
Click on this picture to watch a four minute video released by Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) and discuss it in our comments section. The clip discusses the recent actions of House Majority Leader Tom Delay and Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. I think this video is Kerry's first real play since the election last November and offers a test of his political capital. I hope he does well because he lost a tough close race.
More Blight on Page C12
Well, I know what you're thinking: "Not another post about Iraq....for the love-of-God! Are you guys still hung up on THAT?!...BOR...ING!!" Well, this type of Blight needs to be pulled from Page C12 and put back on the front page by somebody.
 Let us begin though, with a short vocab lesson:
Blight (N.) Something that impairs growth, withers hopes and ambitions, or impedes progress and prosperity. (The picture to your left is that of a blighted potato. According to unsited internet sources: They have a 'soggy' consistency and smell 'badly.')
April 5th, Caroline Hawley (BBC News, Baghdad) wrote an article titled:
Iraq blighted by poor services
Here are some highlights:
Two years since the fall of Baghdad, there is deep frustration among Iraqis at the state of public services. There are continuing power cuts in much of the country and hospitals struggle to provide adequate treatment.  Sewage often pours untreated into rivers which many Iraqis have to drink from. Look around the Iraqi capital, and the most obvious change over the past two years has been the mushrooming of concrete anti-blast barriers. In most areas there is little visible sign of reconstruction and residents across the city have power for half the day at most.
"Our people are drinking water either directly from rivers or wells, even the so-called treated water or clean water is not actually clean," says Mr Misocni [public health minister]. "It is contaminated with sewage water."
And that means children, in particular, are getting sick. Preventable diseases are killing people here, two years since the war. Statistics are hard to come by, but one official told the BBC that more than one in 10 babies born here will die before they celebrate their fifth birthday (see above).
Listen, I know...Reconstruction doesn't happen overnight...it's gonna take time and glorious, steadfast persistence...yada yada yada. But two years after the war, the citizens of the Iraqi capital are drinking their own excrement!! I could understand if they were still having trouble getting hospitals and schools and oil refineries and internet cafes up and running...but DRINKING WATER in the CAPITAL?!
And today the BBC has this update:
...The bodies of more than 50 men, women and children have been recovered from the River Tigris at the town of Suwayra, south of Baghdad. Some had been decapitated or had their throats cut....Meanwhile, there were reports of a large explosion inside the heavily fortified Green Zone in Baghdad...Earlier, at least two civilians, including a child, were killed in bomb attacks aimed at US troops or Iraqi police....And in the town of Haditha, north-west of Baghdad, at least 19 men were found dead at a football stadium. They had apparently been lined up against a wall and shot...
Just another day in the newly-liberated Iraq.
Well, call it what you want: Blighted or killed-by-diseases-acquired-from-drinking-excrement. Either way...these people are still dying everyday, with no relief in sight (regardless of whether or not they make the front page). Can you imagine what it must be like for them?
TRY.
Pretty New Food Pyramid
A new food pyramid was released by the government this week. The difference between the new pyramid and the old pyramid is that the new one gives a more customized dietary guideline. You can see that this sporty new pyramid shows the stick figure walking up steps to encourage us to exercise. Reports I've heard and read say that food manufacturers were happy because the new pyramid stresses a balanced diet and exercise rather than excluding certain foods. That means you can eat your White Castle, Rally's, and KFC as part of a balanced diet. I'm glad to see the government putting out a sporty new pyramid, but they need to be doing so much more as our nation gets fatter and fatter.
One of my favorite conversations to listen in on is some person clearly overweight talking about how the food pyramid doesn't take into account muscle. Yeah, you must be getting too strong.
Kyle Kutuchief's 5 Simple Steps To Keep Our Collective Fat Ass Healthier
(from a public policy stand point)
1. Absolutely no pop machines in public schools.
2. Make sure that no child is left behind hungry and improve the quality of food in public schools with federal dollars. Make sure that all public school lunches meet food pyramid guidelines.
3. Increase the food stamps given to economically disadvantaged children. Food that is healthy costs more.
4. Physical fitness tests in school early and often. Remember trying to get the President's Physical Fitness Award?
5. Make sure that physical fitness education and athletics are funded and not cut in middle school and high school.
As you can see, my five point plan revolves around children. The fact is that fat parents are raising fat kids. Those fat kids will never have a chance because they will be so damaged by the time they turn 18. How are they going to fight the war on terror when they can't touch their toes? I think the whole country is getting fatter because people are becoming more comfortable letting themselves go.
Dead Man Thinking?
 Senator George Voinovich (R-OH) better watch his back. His fellow Republicans are savages. He will be forced to pay a price for delaying the vote of John Bolton to the UN. I cannot believe he forgets just a few years ago when the greedy animals in his party ran ads against Voinovich, just to personally ridicule him, because he didn't support a small portion of Bush's greedy tax cuts for the rich. Either way, I give a rare nod of approval to Voinovich. That will evaporate quickly when he decides to vote for him, possibly at the threat of physical violence.
The thing about this Bolton UN nomination, is that Republicans don't care about reviewing Bolton's (dis)qualifications, which will hurt our foreign policy and endanger you and your family. They only care about winning and their addiction to power. That is why they want this Bolton nomination. If Bolton gets rejected, its a sign of weakness in their aggressive domination of our country. Its a sign they cannot get away with anything. They don't want that. So they will push for this asshole Bolton at any cost. Why else would someone support a man that has ridiculed and threatened the UN to lead the UN?
So just remember, they aren't interested in the best thing for our country, they are are only interested in their selfish, extreme agenda.
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Robert, 
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