Who Will Lose To Obama?
Some say it is too early to talk about 2008. I say we are a political website. Here is a look at the Republican Presidential field.....
John McCain: Running on a platform of sending more troops to Iraq, I think he will ultimately be the GOP nominee. This is fine, because he has flip-flopped on so many issues, he will be an easy punching bag. On top of his absurd Iraq position, yesterday he said is for overturning Roe v. Wade, a flip flop. He also said he is for the upper-class tax cuts, a flip flop. All of his "centrist" positions are being thrown out so he can whore himself for the GOP nomination. Good luck. Yet, the GOP voters are stupid (they voted for Mark Foley, Don Sherwood and Katherine Harris), so his flip-flops should work.
Winning Nomination: 40%
Mitt Romney: The Massachusetts Governor appears to be a Keeler Report favorite. Add that to the fact that he seems like a vaguely normal person, unlike these other clowns, I think he has a chance.
Winning Nomination: 20%
Mike Huckabee: The Governor of Arkansas is another normal candidate (actually, he is undecided). I think he would be the candidate if Republican voters were normal. However, their irrational hate of Bill Clinton will never allow Republicans to vote for a man from Hope, Arkansas - the home of Clinton and Huckabee.
Winning Nomination: 10%
Newt Gingrich: He has a chance. If I were running against him in the GOP, I would just show pictures of him and his new friend, Hillary Clinton - that will sink him.
Winning Nomination: 10%
Duncan Hunter: He is a nutjob from California. The "nutjob" part makes me think he has a chance. The "from California" part does not.
Winning Nomination: 5%
Rudy Giuliani: He is going to run, but he must be setting himself up to be the VP nominee, for which he is the frontrunner.
Winning Nomination: 5%
The Field: Tommy Thompson, George Pataki, Chuck Hagel, Sam Brownback, and some other people will probably run. They will lose. By the way, the Field also includes Dick Cheney, Condi Rice, Colin Powell, and a bunch of other Bushies. They will lose, but I could see one of them strongly emerging. Maybe Rumsfeld will run - he is obvioulsy delusional.
Winning Nomination: 10%
Related: Don't worry guys, if you lose, you can simply declare yourself President like the loser of Mexico's election. You won't have the same power, but at least you can tell your friends (or gay hookers, if your a Republican) that you are President.
John McCain: Running on a platform of sending more troops to Iraq, I think he will ultimately be the GOP nominee. This is fine, because he has flip-flopped on so many issues, he will be an easy punching bag. On top of his absurd Iraq position, yesterday he said is for overturning Roe v. Wade, a flip flop. He also said he is for the upper-class tax cuts, a flip flop. All of his "centrist" positions are being thrown out so he can whore himself for the GOP nomination. Good luck. Yet, the GOP voters are stupid (they voted for Mark Foley, Don Sherwood and Katherine Harris), so his flip-flops should work.
Winning Nomination: 40%
Mitt Romney: The Massachusetts Governor appears to be a Keeler Report favorite. Add that to the fact that he seems like a vaguely normal person, unlike these other clowns, I think he has a chance.
Winning Nomination: 20%
Mike Huckabee: The Governor of Arkansas is another normal candidate (actually, he is undecided). I think he would be the candidate if Republican voters were normal. However, their irrational hate of Bill Clinton will never allow Republicans to vote for a man from Hope, Arkansas - the home of Clinton and Huckabee.
Winning Nomination: 10%
Newt Gingrich: He has a chance. If I were running against him in the GOP, I would just show pictures of him and his new friend, Hillary Clinton - that will sink him.
Winning Nomination: 10%
Duncan Hunter: He is a nutjob from California. The "nutjob" part makes me think he has a chance. The "from California" part does not.
Winning Nomination: 5%
Rudy Giuliani: He is going to run, but he must be setting himself up to be the VP nominee, for which he is the frontrunner.
Winning Nomination: 5%
The Field: Tommy Thompson, George Pataki, Chuck Hagel, Sam Brownback, and some other people will probably run. They will lose. By the way, the Field also includes Dick Cheney, Condi Rice, Colin Powell, and a bunch of other Bushies. They will lose, but I could see one of them strongly emerging. Maybe Rumsfeld will run - he is obvioulsy delusional.
Winning Nomination: 10%
Related: Don't worry guys, if you lose, you can simply declare yourself President like the loser of Mexico's election. You won't have the same power, but at least you can tell your friends (or gay hookers, if your a Republican) that you are President.
By Chuck - 11/22/2006
8 Comments:
The more I think about it, I think I should probably switch Gingrich and Romney's percentages - perhaps for my next update. Logically, Gingrich will emerge as the anti-McCain candidate.
Gingrich has a better shot then you think. Mccain has been up Bush's ass while the ship sunk and Gingrich can come in and say "I'm a outsider and talk about reform"...Mccain will be someone else's B___H during the primaries...and one of these outsiders will emerge
Newt Gingrich is a smart guy and I enjoy seeing him as a pundit on news shows. Have you ever seen him smile of laugh? It is the creepiest smile in all of politics.
Gingrich doesn't have the mug to be President.
like i said, i think i may be underestimating him for the nomination. but i would just run him as "friend of hillary"
and for reasons kyle explained, i hope to hell that he does win the nomination. he will lose every state to obama.
These guys don't stand a chance against Obama.
i would put giuliani higher and huckabee lower. Other than that seems pretty reasonable.
Mitt Romney is holding onto the gay bashing wing of the Republican party. He wants to amend the US Constitution.
Gingrich vs Hillary.
God help us all.
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